Sunday 22 September 2013

A winters tale ......... chill winds and warm memories.



Trujillo was once the "City of Eternal Spring" but "climate change" has changed all that!  What was once a steady all year climate now has a distinctly cold period from July - October, that all have to acknowledge as Winter! 

The winter drags on here, but spring is promised in the next week or so. Winter here has meant dull days, a bit windy and some chilly days and lots of chilly nights. Dull sunless days have always been a problem for me, I am pretty sure I suffer at some level from SAD (seasonal affective disorder) as my mood gets depressed by a lack of sunshine.   

Somebody lied!   Temperatures at night were much colder in July and August!
On top of that, living without any form of heating whatsoever has meant that the colder weather has chilled me to the very marrow of my bones, now we are not talking very low temperatures maybe 10 degrees in the night, but - despite my continental quilt – I have had to resort to wearing socks in bed and the titanium screw and pin have definitely chilled my leg and brought back a slight limp and a persistent dull ache. This has been an accumulative process but it has had an effect. The cold just rises up from the floor and life is lived with your coat on!



But, this week sees the start of the spring festival and by the first week of October a real change in the weather is expected. Not a day too soon.





The lovely and amazing James.
The other big black cloud that burst this last two weeks was the death of my dear friend and erstwhile lover James.  I first met James in 1988 when I moved to live in Brighton, well Hove actually, and I met him via the Church of St. Barnabas, Hove. James was coming out of a difficult relationship and I was the new kid on the block, in so many ways we were completely unsuited as we each had mountains of “baggage” but we had an off and on roller coaster of a time together. James was the greatest home-maker I have ever met and my abode in King's Court became truly regal again (it had been used in Victorian times by Edward, Prince of Wales, to entertain his female admirers….. and was renamed on his accession.) James had excellent taste, a great cook, perfect host and an all round “good egg” and I was earning good money at the time.  Fuelled by my salary and credit cards we had an amazing lifestyle,: holidays in India, Italy, France, USA, countless trips to Holland, Spain, Tunisia, the list goes on, furniture from Heals and Habitat, Chinese washed rugs, two grand pianos, an organ, a ton of cut crystal, Spode and Royal Dalton china  and an ever open door to our friends.
A dinner party at King's Court- and no, it's definitely not the Bullington Club.
Including a couple of dinner parties for up  to 16 all with James’ excellent hand behind the organization and the cooking. I think anybody meeting James was touched by his amazing personality.  



But for the very best of reasons our lives moved on; me to deal with internal devils by attempting an ascetic life in India and James (with my blessing) into the arms of the lovely and amazing Andy.    



Happily, James, Andy and I, remained firm and close friends, even though we didn’t see other that often.  I was so happy to know that in Andy, James had found his true soul-mate and as a result his life was transformed.



James and Andy visited me in Birmingham and I stayed with them in their lovely house in Hove, we maintained contact via email and then two years ago James’ health was affected and he started the long war with Cancer which sadly, despite winning some battles and some reprieve, ultimately a war he was to loose.



Last July I had the pleasure of spending a day with him and Andy sitting in their garden enjoying some summer sun and talking openly and frankly about our friendship, our love and  reminiscing about the old days. I listened to them both talk about their fears and concerns for each other and of the future.  The elephant in the room (or rather on the patio) was that we all knew it would be a last meeting of the three of us together. James and I hugged for a last time and he said goodbye to his "little fella".  I promised James that I would maintain my friendship with Andy (I would have done that anyway) but he so needed to hear it as in the midst of his appalling illness his only thoughts were “What about Andy?”   The love and devotion they demonstrated shone out like a wonderful beacon of hope.  And it has certainly made me think so carefully about my own burgeoning relationship and just how precious love is, with James and Andy’s relationship in my mind I know I can succeed with Nick where I have so failed before.  James was amazing, larger than life.



His death has been a chill wind to add to my winter in Trujillo.  Roll on spring!

James Edward Mason  - a privilege to have known him and shared so much with him.